


Then till Now

by publishesinfontuwu



Category: Naniwa Danshi, Snow Man (Japan Band)
Genre: M/M, character death happened for reincarnation, happy birthday kiddie, idk why i decided to do angst for his birthday but this was an WIP
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-26
Updated: 2020-06-26
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:08:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24928921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/publishesinfontuwu/pseuds/publishesinfontuwu
Summary: Raul gets tormented by dreams of his past, would you believe in reincarnation? Inspired by JJ Lin's Tales of the Red Cliff, song is linked at the notes below.
Relationships: Michieda Shunsuke/Murakami Maido Raul
Kudos: 2





	Then till Now

**Author's Note:**

> HAPPY BIRTHDAY RAUL! This has been sitting in my damned WIP folder and I finally found the chance to actually finish it? Yay me :) Stay safe everyone, wherever y’all are at!
> 
> Italics means PAST and whatever in the brackets after the Chinese characters are the translations to the lyrics :) I don't own the boys, I own the plot.

落叶堆积了好几层 而我踩过青春 听见 前世谁在泪语纷纷 

(The fallen leaves mount gradually // As I walked out of the days of youth // I heard someone in my previous life weeping in sorrow)

It is the same old dream again. Of tangled sheets and bodies, of soft caresses from calloused fingers. Raul feels the whisper of the unknown person, he feels the ghost of the fingers on his chest, tapping out an unknown rhythm. He sat up, gasping for air, as he ran a hand through his wet hair and tugged his drench shirts over. He doesn’t even know if it was a nightmare, a dream or _something else entirely_. He collapsed against his soft, cold bed again and closed his eyes, willing himself to not dream of that again. 

//

一次缘分结一次绳 我今生还在等 一世 就只能有一次的认真

(A moment of fate ties a knot in a lifetime of destiny // And I'm still waiting now // Alas, life offers just but only one chance)

_It was definitely past midnight, the way the moon shines into the courtyard. Raul doesn’t know why he is here, but the body definitely does. He approaches the lone figure standing by the pond, a hand reaches out to caress the other’s arm gently, notifying him of his presence. The male was shorter and Raul has no idea who he is. He gave a small smile, but the love in his eyes was obvious, the hitch in his breathing was obvious as Raul slid his hand down to the lower back. The boy closed his eyes, the corner stained wet as his eyes shone with unshed tears._

_“Mai,” he mumbled as he pulled Raul flushed against his chest._

_“If I don’t come back, you have to, promise me, you have to marry that person. He will protect you once I’m gone.”_

_Raul didn’t understand anything he just said but he felt a twinge in his heart, his throat tight with the sudden surge of emotions. He felt his body going into auto-pilot mode, caressing the boy back, his hand tightening on the robes he wore. He felt a calloused hand on his cheek and his eyes met with warm brown ones, before the owner of the eyes lean in and captured his lips with his. Raul trembled, holding on tighter as the boy kneaded his hands on his waist, seemingly trying to pull Raul into him, deeper into his embrace. They pulled away and the boy’s eyes shone with tears, his fingers trembling as he caressed his cheek gently, his eyes tormented with countless emotions._

_Sadness._

_Wilful._

_Guilt._

_Pain._

_And the one emotion that surpassed all the others, Love._

_Raul chokes back a sob and the boy holds him closer, mouth brushing his neck, lips gently pressing against the pale, soft skin. Raul feels a sharp pain, and then a tongue swipes at the bruised skin, before the boy pulls away. Their lips meet again, and Raul finds himself kissing back. The moment ended and the boy stepped away from him. His eyes haunted Raul as he quickly made his way to the door. Raul finds his legs giving out on him, collapsing to the stone floor. His heart clenched painfully in his chest, his finger grabbing the front of his robes, and he willed himself to breathe. The way the boy looked before pulling away haunted his mind._

**_He doesn’t want to leave. But he had to, so he can protect me._ **

//

青石板上的月光照进这山城

我一路的跟 妳轮回声 我对妳用情极深

(The glow of the moon shines across the mountains and into the city // I kept chasing after your voice // My feelings for you run deeper than ever)

Before he could even make sense of his emotion, Raul jerked awake and wiped his tear stained face. He felt the longing, the emotions the other boy had, and he couldn’t do a thing. He could have made him stay, Raul was sure the boy would stay for him, for them, but he didn’t. He ran his fingers through his sweat-soaked hair. He mumbled softly to himself, trying to calm himself down. He threw the covers off and walked softly to the kitchen, he didn’t want to wake his housemates. He poured himself a glass of water, slowly drinking it before turning to wash it. The light came on, and he found himself face to face with his sleepy housemate. He was holding onto a cinnamonroll toy and blinked at him sleepily.

“Raul, why are you awake?” he asked, yawning as he deposit his toy on the stool and dug the fridge for something to eat.

“Why are you awake?” Raul retorts and the boy just grinned. 

“Ryota has a late job tonight, so I wanted to make his breakfast for him.”

“I would urge you to not even try, we don’t want another burnt kitchen, Shota-kun.” Raul teased but made his way back to his bedroom. 

He could hear the older boy curse at him under his breath before he tucked himself back into bed. He has a late class at 2pm so he really doesn't need to be up before 9am. He tossed and drifted back to sleep.

//

我拿醇酒一坛饮恨 妳那千年眼神 是我 醉醉坠入赤壁的 伤痕

(I drown myself in sorrows and anger // For that faraway look in your eyes are the scars I bore in the battle of the red cliff)

_“He is dead, Mai. What do you expect? That he will actually come back to you? How naive. He had lost his graces, of course they would find a chance to kill him while he was fighting a battle.”_

_Raul could not understand, how did it turn out like this? He was still alive just a couple of minutes ago, he was kissing him, lips soft and tender, his eyes brimming with love for Raul. How did he become a mere corpse in just a couple of minutes, he bowed over, retching into the ready pot beside him. His vision blurred and he heard the woman order someone to take him away to his room, his nose filled with disgust and stench. He stumbled behind the servant and all but collapsed into bed, tears staining the silk bed sheets. The servant bowed and retreated from the room, leaving Raul all by himself. Raul is conflicted - he knows this emotion doesn’t belong to him, but the owner of this body (his body) and he feels the gut wrenching guilt and sadness from the host._

_Raul remembers the boy as memories flood his mind. The way his eyes crinkled as he smiles, the way the sunlight hit his face and it feels like the room has gotten brighter, the way the moonlight reflects in his eyes as they held each other when the night fell upon them, the calluses on his bony finger from all the training he had done, the way he pants against him as they reach a high together. Most importantly, the way he calls his name, ever so sweetly._

_“Mai, I’m here.”_

_“Mai… how’s your day?”_

_“Mai, the festival is coming, will your parents allow you to go?”_

_Mai, Mai, Mai…_

_Raul feels a sob crawling its way out of his throat as he falls back on the bed, allowing himself to let the body’s owner cry his heart out, mourning for the loss of a loved one. He reached out, wanting to comfort the owner when his own reality hit him like a brick and he jolted awake._

//

洛阳城旁的老树根 像回忆般延伸 妳问 经过是谁的心跳声

(Like the roots of the old tree at Luoyang, memories (from the past) are hidden // When you wonder each time a person passes by)

“What?” He jolted up, looking around the room only to see a kind face staring back at him.

“You have classes, it’s almost noon already, Koji tried waking you up but you were mumbling and crying… Raul, are you alright?” the man asked softly, eyes soft but worried.

Raul nodded, getting out of bed. His heart feels heavy as the emotions from his dream (or was it reality?) still lingered in his mind and heart. He masked his pain with sleepiness and yawned as he walked to his wardrobe to get his clothes before ducking into the shower. The man shook his head and reached up to ruffle his hair and left him to his own devices. Raul dressed quickly, unable to shake the feeling of dread in his heart. Something bad was going to happen and he just knows it. He fumbled with his shoes, yelled a goodbye to the other residents in the sharehouse, and hurried off to school. He was two streets away from his school when a loud screech of “BE CAREFUL!!!”, as Raul feels metal colliding with his body, knocking air out of his lungs, as he falls several feets away from his spot. 

“Holy shit, are you alright? I’m so sorry, please gosh… someone, help me call the ambulance,” Raul hears a panicked voice, a pair of cold hands caressing his face and he welcomes the comforting embrace of darkness.

//

确认过眼神 我遇上对的人 我策马出征 马蹄声如泪奔

青石板上的月光照进这山城

(Looking into your eyes, I know I've found you // I leapt onto my horse, galloping as the tears flow // The glow of the moon shines across the mountains and into the city)

_Raul looked around, taking in his surroundings slowly. He rubbed his soot-dirty hands and shakily stood up._

_Fire._

_Dust._

_Bodies._

_Blood._

_He feels tears brimming in his eyes, as he stumbled in his step making his way to the middle of the camp, where the regal tent lays in shambles. His legs buckled beneath him and he crawled to the tent, he felt the ground cut at his arms as he willed himself to reach his destination. He heard a yell and suddenly he was pushed into an embrace. He blinked, his eyes taking in the image of the person holding him. He reached a shaky hand to his cheek, a soft smile reached his eyes._

_“You’re alive…” he whispered, eyes gentle with love._

_“Why are you so stupid?” the boy sobbed, holding him close._

_The world stilled and they shared a look before they felt the sharp piercing of arrows through their tangled forms. The boy swallowed a mouthful of blood, Raul spat his out as they crushed their lips together. Raul feels the life ebbing away from him, as the boy turns limp in his arms, he rests his head tiredly on the boy’s head and allows themselves to fall to the blood soaked ground. He pressed a kiss to the crown of the boy, and whispered a promise._

_“May we find each other in our next life, where we can love properly, where a happy ending is set in place for us.”_

//

确认过眼神 我遇上对的人 我挥剑转身而鲜血如红唇

前朝记忆渡红尘 伤人的不是刀刃 是妳转世而来的魂

(Looking into your eyes, I know I've found you // Turning around, I wield my sword. Blood, intense like the colour of rouge, gushes out // Memories from the past flooding back // The pain in me was not inflicted by the sword but by you)

Raul opened his eyes to unfamiliar white walls and the pungent smell of disinfectant. He struggled to get up, realising a cast on his leg, and an unknown mop of brown hair by his waist. He raised a hand and ran his fingers through the strands of hair, waking the boy. Their eyes meet and Raul holds back a sob, his hand coming to rest on his cheek. The boy smiled, reaching for his hand tentatively. He feels so familiar yet so foreign to Raul, but the way he was being careful is the same as before. Raul meets his eyes, his heart skipping a beat, hopeful that the wish his past had made actually came through. 

“Mai?” he asked softly, eyes hopeful.

“Shun.” Raul replied easily, his sight blurred with unshed tears.

They met again. His Shun returned to him, his Shun is here again. They laughed softly, and the boy wiped his tears away, pressing their foreheads together. Raul breathed out a soft laugh, feeling the other entwine their fingers together. Michieda smiled softly, kissing his wrist, and dropping another kiss on his head. The boy, whom Raul finds out is called Michieda Shunsuke, just moved to Tokyo from Osaka. They sat quietly, their brains catching up on what just happened, and savoured the moment before the door crashed open and his housemates crashed in and fawned over him. They shook off Michieda’s apology and mothered Raul a bit more before they disappeared to see if Raul can be discharged already.

Raul bites his lips and Michieda smiles.

我一路的跟 妳轮回声 我对妳用情极深

(I kept chasing after your voice // My feelings for you run deeper than ever)

**Author's Note:**

> if y'all want to listen to the song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z9drIRdLh88  
> I skipped and picked a few lyrics, the full song is not in this work.


End file.
